Exactly a week ago, we lost you my daddy dearest.
And life as I know it - will never be the same.
My heart is numb for it has been shattered into bits and pieces and I”m struggling to pick up these pieces to move on. But this will be the hardest for all of us for everything around us reminds me of you.
It has been a few months of roller coaster ride for the entire family and we always thought you would pull thru each time. But this time, GOD decided to be selfish and we’re now left to deal with the biggest hole in our hearts.
I wish I could turn back time. I wish I could have taken your place instead. I wish GOD would have given you more time with us. I wish and wish and wish that things could go back to what they were. Sometimes I just shut my eyes and wish so hard that it hurts. But wishes are pointless and a stranger in times like this.
Instead now we’re just left to live on without you, which will be the hardest thing to do. Its in many ways a living hell when the one you truly love is no longer with you.
Why do good people go so soon? Why did you have to go esp when you were so full of life and had the kindest heart? I”m struggling to understand this and my heart bleeds just trying to understand.
Sairah has been asking everyday about you. She misses you, she loves you so dearly, she even said she wants to go to heaven to visit you just so she can see and hug you once again. I know that’s how much love you both have for each other.
She is your biggest love no doubt, and you were most proud of her.Your phone is filled with many photos of her. I promise you Sairah will forever remember you and I shall mould her to be a great person just like you. As it is, she has so many traits that remind me of you.
And me? I just miss everything about you! From the way you used to cough, to our silly arguements, to you pestering me into having a second child….just.about.everything Daddy. Most of all, I miss calling you Daddy and relying on you for life advise.
You were my greatest mentor. You rescued me in my darkest and dumbest moments and for that I cannot thank you enough for EVERYTHING you’ve done for me.
Daddy, you were truly a gem – a man who was always helpful, so full of life and ALWAYS smiling. Words cannot describe what an awesome man you have been during your 65 years of life and this for the great man you were, no one can ever come close to being like you. Absolutely no one. They just don’t make men like you anymore Daddy. I want to write more about you, the man who has done so much for me, for his grand-daughter and my marriage and one day I will sit down and do that in your honor/memory.
For now, I am a very broken and lost person for I”ve lost just about the greatest person on this earth and I’m just wondering, how does one deal with something like this? How to go on in life??
It is something I’m struggling with so badly every day and it just about hurts every millisecond of the day.
Sometimes this just feels like a really bad dream where I”m waiting to wake up…..will someone please put me out of my misery and wake me up and tell me it was just all a bad dream, please?
Daddy, I know you’re looking from up there (and laughing at how we sing the hymns so badly during prayers - we’re trying and will do anything for you Dad), I just want you to know, thank you for being YOU, for guiding me at every step of the way on this shitty thing called life, for worrying about us all the time (even when you didn’t have to but hey, that’s a father’s job you say) and for being the absolutely greatest Father a girl could ever have….I am eternally grateful to you and I must have done something right in my past life to have you as my Father and if there’s one thing for certain in life, I have and will always love you , a million lifes over.
And until the day we meet again, you will always be loved and remembered. Forever and Always. Our only consolation for now is, you’re up there with your mom, dad, brother and uncles…..say hello to them for me esp to Amma (grandma) for I’ve missed her immensely and I know you’re in good hands with her around for you even saw and called out to her before you left.
I cannot wait to be reunited with you though I know its going to be a long painful journey for us since life will be so empty without you around Daddy.
I love you to the moon and back.
Your Eldest Daughter