A Year Ago

27 Feb


Who knew, one year ago on this date,  I would walk into my parent’s room, only to see my dad in a very weak vulnerable condition that sent mom and I in a frenzy to rush him to the hospital.

Who knew, that after frantically getting him into the car that would be the last time we would ever drive with him in the car. Or to the hospital.

Who knew, that 3 days later, we would all be left heart broken and empty.


Who knew, that his doctor would pull mom aside to break the news about how dad was in a critical stage where nothing looked promising.  That he would probably leave this world in the next few weeks or months even as his body was shutting down and that making a recovery seemed like a far far away dream and miracle….and that we were suppose to prepare for the worst.

Who knew, how to prepare for the worst.

Who knew, it would be his last 2 days alive. Not weeks. Not months even. Just 2 more days left.


Who knew, that when the doctor suggested as a final step of saving him, a dialysis might make him feel better. But who knew, as I asked the doctor exactly how many sessions would he need to fully recover that infact, wouldn’t have taken place at all. Not even once.

Who knew, his time was just around the corner. Just one more day left. But we still relied on hope and hope was all we had. That was the only thing we could cling onto with our dear lives.

Who knew, that when my dad uttered ‘my uncles are here’, it had a much more deeper meaning to that.


Who knew, as they wheeled him out from his room to ICU to perform the dialysis hours later he wouldn’t be wheeled back into his room.

Who knew, that when I followed mom into the ICU in those final hours  - while I was happy to see him back to his old self ( there’s a believe that no matter how sick someone is, they will revert to their happy original state for you to remember them by before leaving the world) would infact be the very last time I would see my dad alive. If there was any consolation, at least the last image of my dad seemed better and happier compared to the previous few days in the hospital.

I wonder sometimes if he knew then what was about to happen. I wonder too if my grandmother, grandfather, uncle and dad’s uncles were truly there in the room as well in those final hours waiting to welcome their son into the other side. I saw it happen with my grandmother.

Who knew, that an hour later, even before the dialysis could take place we would hear the code blue go off and hear an announcement calling out to us to see his doctor urgently.

And that our hearts would sink and break into tiny pieces instantly crushing our whole world down as we stood by him watching him float away further and further away from us……

For the good man that he was, he was called Home on a very auspicious day known as Maha Shivaratri where Hindus believe passing on this day takes you straight to Heaven.


Who knew, that a heart could remain broken even 365 days later. That tears never fail to fall freely every night.

Who knew, that when people tell you time heals this will be the biggest white lie they will ever tell you. Simply because time doesn’t truly heal. You only learn to adjust yourself a little living without this person in your life.

But I know, as much as all of us find it hard to let go, you are better off up in Heaven. And I know for a fact that you are watching out for us from up there true to your usual self.

28.02.2015 until we are reunited:

We will always love, miss and think of you with each passing day – no doubt about that.

Until we meet again Daddy.

My Short Story on Mildred.Co

18 Feb


A week ago I received an email saying one of my short story got picked and published on an Australian website.

The feedback and response to my story so far has been surprisingly good and positive. Not sure if people really mean it or just simply saying for the sake of friendship, lol.

But hey, nevertheless this is something I”m quite proud of. Getting my story published on a website – check check check.

This has also prompted me to write more in the future (provided I don’t procrastinate la).

A friend and the hubby even suggested I look at writing a book in the near future. That’s crazy talk! But hey I’m not gonna discount the fact that it’s quite possible perhaps in the near future or at least something to cross off my bucket list before I kick it. I might demand for a trip to an exotic land coz you know – writers (and wannabe writers like me, lol) tend to get their amazing ideas when they’re in a mysterious new place, heh  - at least that’s what I told the husband so that he’ll take me to a place I really want to go!

Without further ado, *drum roll*, here’s the link to my short story: http://www.mildred.co/issue-94/creative-writing/bad-luck/

If there are any feedback (both positive AND negative), do let me know. Am excited to hear (or rather read!) it all out.

Have a great long weekend folks and Happy Lunar New Year to those celebrating.

Hello From KL

16 Feb

Hello From KL

Hello peeps! Sorry for being an utter scum. As in asking y’all a question about how long  you’ve been reading this blog and then disappearing on you ladies for like 3 weeks now! BAD BAD blogger.

BUT I can tell you I did enjoy each and  read everyone’s comments and will reply to it soon.

I’ve been CRAZY busy past few weeks. Hubby’s parents were in Melbourne which means I have been busy playing tour guide when I don’t even know the city well myself. Hah. And then there’s the fact that Sairah and I were leaving back to KL which required packing and shopping (yup, coming home is indeed an expensive affair).

5.30 a.m arrival and all fresh faced. It was just the two of us flying back and I love how easy it is travelling 8 hours with Sairah now.

Random photos taken in the past month or so with my crappy phone with more to come later:

Winery visit

Me kepoh-ing in an ‘honesty’ shop where nobody looks after the shop. You literally take what you want and put money in the box provided.

Outside Ca De Vin which was a pretty good restaurant, just conveniently located next to H&M :D

Random craziness @ Lygon Street as we sat outside to listen to a eastern European busker play gypsy music. It was so good that we bought his CD. I honestly love the buskers you see in Melbourne – so much talent!

@ Sovereign Hill which I will blog separately as Sairah had a one of a kind scary  gold mining experience at 4!!

And a random photo of Sairah playing footie as it’s something we’ve realized she’s quite good at.

There’s much more to share but I”ll save it for another day.

I actually drafted the first few lines on the same day I was suppose to leave Melbourne in hopes of putting up a post but I got side tracked and now only got to sit down on my fat arse here in KL and write something. Just to let you guys know we’re aliveeeee!


It’s currently day 5 in KL and I cannot stress how stressful it has been especially when driving around. Have people become BIGGER thugs on the roads or what??! I know I”ve only been away for 6 months (but 6 months is more than enough to get you in a comfort level when it comes to driving there) but seriously – our roads are filled with aggressive KL drivers AND horrendous traffic which seem to have gotten even worse. Drivers in KL seem to effin weave in and out like it’s their grandfather’s road. They don’t give in when you need to cut, and they even cut in front of you so bloody closely sans signal like you’re suppose to read their mind, they tailgate, they cut line, they park their cars whenever the hell they want, which includes in the middle of the street – hah, nothing seems to have changed.

@ traffic at 7 a.m when sister came to pick us up at KLIA. I’ve always read people complaining of traffic near their homes at 6.30 a.m on Facebook. And now I know for myself.

Which further reaffirms why we decided to move (amongst other issues of course which I will blog one day) and despite the times where I missed home while in Melbourne I am 100% sure NOW I don’t want to be in KL at present time. In the 6 months there, I’ve always second guess our decision to move (I’ve always hated any sort of change but as they say the only thing that’s constant in life is change), whether it was the right thing but going forward I promise I won’t and shall make the most of it because I know for Sairah’s sake and for my poor heart, we’re doing the right thing.

But hey who knows, perhaps KL will change for the better in the next 5 years. One can only hope.

Excuse the slight rant. I”ve always had issues with crazy drivers. My heart rate tends to beat faster and in an irregular way dealing with traffic and drivers even before. And to think I used to work in city center for years. I’m quite surprised I”ve not DIED from a bloody heart attack during those times. So to experience all that again now is truly unpleasant. Let me know how you guys deal with traffic here, knowing it hours just to get home. And please don’t say just accept it coz KL 8-10 years back didn’t even come close to this. At the very least, we had courteous drivers then. Now most people seem to be in a foul mood and in a mad rush. You aint the PM bitch!

OH and of course the biggest update of them all. My baby bear started kinder about two weeks ago!!

Random @ the library’s summer club reading party where they provided snacks and watched Jumanji as a treat for reading books this summer! I have a lil book worm on hand and her ability to memorize word by word of each books that we read for her is astounding to the point people think she can read, lol.

Even wayyy before Kinder started I took the initiative to read this book which was loaded with lots of great tips. Coupled with me teaching Sairah arts & craft and do fun stuff which mimicked kinder months before finally all paid off! I have a child who LOVES her kinder, who wakes up early morning with a smile knowing she’s going to school and that itself is credit I”m going to take *pats back*, heh.

I did tell her to pleaseee keep up her enthusiasm for school until University :D

Sairah’s school essentials. In OZ parents are in charge of packing food for kids (because some kids are prone to certain allergies) and it usually comprises of 2 snacks for mid morning / afternoon tea and of course lunch. All nut free of course.

Strangely for some reason, we somehow got everything in purple without even deciding to color coordinate, lol

The school even gave a small pillow for kids to rest on certain times if they choose to. These are basically the essential stuff to pack together with a change of clothes for boo boos.

Taken at end of day 1! She asked me if she could go to kinder everyday, lol. But sadly it is only a twice a week kinda thing which spans for 8 hours each session. So wohoo, that’s 8 hours of F.R.E.E.D.O.M for this Mama. When I go back I shall get my shit together and start joining some activities (am seriously considering volunteering somewhere) or find ways to be productive to kill my time. That or I might take up a certification course. Which I’ve yet to decide on what.

Okay I think that is all the post I can afford right now. Nevertheless as much as I hate the traffic and certain crazy drivers here, I have to say – we are loving spending time with the family and of course FOOD – the lil one has already crossed off her nasi lemak, chicken rice, pan mee, Chinese food, grandma’s ginger chicken and chapati all in the span of 4 days yo! *rubs big belly*

Something tells me we are gonna be going back fatter and heavier by the time we go back!!

But that’s okay because we should eat and let live.

The Curious Cat

22 Jan

I just realized I’ve been blogging this blog for officially all of 7 years now!

*throws confetti*

That’s like an age of a primary going kid  yo. Minus the unnecessary school bills and tantrums  :) No wait, I still do pay fees to maintenance this blog so yea…

I started this blog in 2008 (right after getting married) out of excitement and to channel my thoughts somewhere and because I wanted to document my ‘journey’ and it’s amazing that I”ve continued to blog this long because I admit – sometimes I generally do tend to get bored of things quite quick and tend to abandon them. Errrr like my piano lessons. And Taekwando. I’m sure there’s more! But just like my  marriage, I”ve decided to continue on with this, heh.

There’s also this thing called the 7 year itch which is most applicable for marriages but I figured in this context it might exist coz I came quite close to not renewing my domain this year but figured what the heck, I”ll give it another year and see. For what it’s worth, I do think some blogs have an ‘expiry’ date and of course I”d be lying if I told you I will blog this blog until the day I die.

Incase you don’t know this already, lots of effort does go into blogging. And even writing in general. From choosing photos to uploading it (and god knows I have lots to share) from collecting my thought process (and damn on some days I have NONE!) to actually writing which is where most of the hard work comes from. Let’s not forget the amount of time spent on editing/proof-reading, although I can’t say I’m good at it coz sometimes I read old post and can spot so many mistakes :(

All this for something that doesn’t even pay me ok.

But it’s aight because end of the day it’s something I enjoy doing. And I try to update as and when I can.

Ok never mind with all this mumbo jumbo talk.

For today’s post, my question to YOU (yes YOU right there reading this random stupid blog) is, how long have you been reading ME (I’ll try to give you a prize IF you’ve been following me since 2008 but I highly doubt there’s any, heh) and WHY? Also if you have any questions you’d like to shoot, go ahead.

That is all! Toodles.


Our Hong Kong (Mis)Adventure

18 Jan

Our Hong Kong (Mis)Adventure

Just realized I had this draft sitting prettily so it would be such a total sin to blog this much and not publish it. So here it is, after a year later. #malaysianstyle

A child falling sick during a vacation is the worst possible thing that could happen, well next to losing your passport that is. People always ask, how hard/easy it is to travel with a kid in tow? In most cases, it’s pretty easy so long a child is occupied seeing and exploring the world with you. Of course it gets a lil tiring and takes a lil more effort than usual and if its there’s one  thing I’ve learned, as parents there’s always new things you learn as you go along this curved thing called parenthood.

But what is actually hard is when they do fall sick during their travels. If there’s one practice we do during our trips and that is to ALWAYS pack along Sairah’s meds and up until our HK trip, we never really had to use it.

The day we arrived to HK, I was actually sick like a dog. I slept the entire time on board shaking and shivering and it was like that until we got to the hotel room where I actually was in bed the entire freaking day. I don’t usually fall this sick but that day, I totally did so F you Murphy and whatever blast it germs I caught on! A whole day had passed and I didn’t even realize it but it finally paid off in a way coz I was in a semi better condition the next day all ready for Disneyland for Sairah’s sake. Bless the husband coz he gave Sairah a bath all by himself, took her out to dinner and watched her that entire day. We made sure we took extreme measures and even got 2 single beds so she wouldn’t catch whatever I had.

But alas, you know the saying sometimes if its bound to happen it will?

Well here’s the thing, on Day 3 of our trip, after already completing the first day of HK Disneyland (thank god), we went back there for Day 2 and Sairah was fine and dandy until we got into the park.

That was then she developed a fever. Not a low grade one but a high temprature. And it was at that moment where we both realized it was pretty useless to pack all that damn meds if we weren’t going to take it along with us whenever we go. So lesson learnt – carry your kids meds wherever you go coz a fever/cough/flu can pop up ANYTIME, ANYWHERE!

Finding a First Aid room was easy as pie since we were afterall in Disneyland. After being diagonised as having high fever, we were told to buy panadol syrup at the pharmacy next door which cost us RM40 for a tiny bottle!

Emergency emergency, one sick baby coming through…

After some negotiations, we were allowed to return back to Disneyland on a different day since we were hardly there for an hour! We were escorted out of the park by their park rep with much stares from other patrons :o

The beauty of my baby girl…can still give mommy a BIG smile while waiting for the train and despite being sick.

I bet she was thinking…alrighttt…I get to spend 3 days in Disneyland!

Made our way back to the hotel and this is the crazy crowd in Kowloon, even on a Friday!

People people everywhereee….

A baby’s still gotta eat despite being sick so what else but to make a quick stop in MCDs

Which is a real rarity treat for her.

So that’s how fries look like? Hah.

By that time her fever was down so we quickly popped by a supermarket and as you can see, she was already beginning to feel much better.

Later that night however was a different story. For the first time in the LONGEST time, Sairah actually vomitted and every time she did, we went on this panic mode. That night, we were actually planning on going to TST to check out the light show. So we hopped onto the bus and since Sairah was feeling much better that evening (no fever in sight), thought everything would be alright.

Boy were we wrong.

Coz half way through the bus ride, she woke up and VOMITED practically everything that was inside her. Her father’s clothes were drenched in thick vomit and when I ran over to carry her she vomited on me drenching just about everything I wore (and I had only packed one jeans for the trip! Ended up with a big laundry bill yo). So there we were, all three of us sat in the bus with clothes drenched in Sairah’s beautiful nauseating vomit scent where we tried our best to clean up whatever that was on her, on ourselves, the bus seat, floor while just  absolutely waiting for the bus to make a turn back to the hotel.

Triple sigh! Was hoping the bus driver wouldn’t throw a bitch fit for the mess created.

If that drama wasn’t enough, even after we got back to the hotel and gave her some food to eat, she threw up even more which sent us into a frenzy coz that was something we hardly experienced with Sairah.

To make things even better (why thank you Murphy), around 1 a.m that morning, I noticed Sairah was shaking quite vigorous in her sleep as a result of high temperature. After what seemed like an eternal time panicking on what to do, we grabbed our passports,  I made sure to wet a towel to keep her fever down, put on a god damn bra and then ran downstairs to the reception to ask if they had a car to send us to the hospital – unfortunately to make our drama more interesting, they didn’t have a car but said we could ‘easily’ get a cab outside the hotel.

Off we ran again downstairs onto the main road with Sairah still trembling while trying to stop a cab – but blast it, every fucking cab that passed by was FULL and this was at 1 a.m on a Saturday morning mind you! Our only consolation was, the hospital was only a mere 5 minutes drive. We must have waited for a good 10 minutes on the road (with me begging and pleading with HIM for a cab to stop for us) while carrying a trembling child before finally getting a cab. We dashed into the hospital and the head nurse who was a really kind lady must have seen the panic look on our faces so she quickly re-assured us it was just a high fever and told us to calm down. She quickly gave Sairah a slight sponge with an ice pack to her back. 10 minutes later we were ushered to see the doctor and while I was praying no hospitalization would be needed, the doctor just recommended a suppository to be given to bring her fever down and gave us some medication to help with the vomiting. By the time we got back to the hotel room, it was close to 3 a.m.

It was truly a first time experience rushing to a hospital for an emergency and that too it just had to happen overseas.  But it was truly a daunting experience esp when it’s a new environment and surroundings which you’re not familiar with.

After sleeping it off, we woke up to a fever-free kiddo!

A quick lunch at our favorite restaurant next to our hotel. And the lack of sleep and tired-ness was very obvious for all of us – you can tell we went through hell that night.

Oh hello earth.

We decided to walk and explore a lil but soon found that to be a BAD idea coz it was a Saturday which means full on congestion everywhere we went.

How on earth does one even do proper shopping with this amount of people around is beyond me.

Decided on having coffee and a small snack quickly….

C.O.F.F.E.E – needed it so badly at that point of time. That too had to wait for a stupid table for a good 15 minutes. Which is apparently a norm for Hong Kongers. Case in point – the girl standing behind me waiting for someone to drink their stupid coffee and buzz off.

Back to the hotel for some rest (though we didn’t really do much that morning).

Some exploring later that night.

At some random dessert place where we had to share a table with strangers sitting in front of us. This is a norm in HK. How the heck does one expect me to eat in peace and have my privacy this way?!

I could have easily reached out for a spoon of his dessert too, heh.

But I didn’t, incase you’re wondering :D

Should have done it. Coz hey if you’re gonna share tables with me, we should learn to share our desserts too :)

Late night view of HK which is SO different from the hustle and bustle of the day.

And that was our HK Mis-adventure which I hope we will never have to encounter again.

Either way, you bet we’ll be carrying a bottle of panadol wherever we go and I highly recommend that you do too.

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