When I first found out the news, I drafted a dark entry about it but never got to publish it. Looking back at the entry, I was then confused, angry, scared, worried mixed with anything and everything negative as I was not prepared with had been laid forth for me. I sulked for a whole week and cried myself silly alot. What was supposed to be a trip filled with nights clubbing and getting tipsy on my favorite drink and bungee jumping immediately took a more calmer and different turn.
I think all it took was for my instincts to kick (at a much later pace) because I’ve always been slow like that.
Everyone else around me saw the joy and the excitment, everyone but me for I sat there crying my heart out on various occasions not understanding why/what/how/when it had to happen to me when I had other plans in store. This is literally a plan brought forward by 1-2 years too early. I guess this is the testament that not everything goes your way at times in life and no matter how careful you are, fate and GOD always has another route set for you.
2 weeks has passed by since the day I found out and I slowly now see the joy too. It may not be in a full on recognition but I say its progress. Although I am still scared with what awaits for me 7 months down the road, I am ready to take on this challenge and be the very best at it. Life wouldn’t need to change drastically like how I’ve always thought it would. In any case, it would be a new adventure, for both of us. Travel plans and goals to achieve before I hit 30 shall remain the same :))
For now, I’ve accepted that I am a 2 months pregnant soon to be yummy mummy and have been fondly calling my soon to be baby peanut! A term coined by my sis because if you compare my size to what’s in me, it’s really that tiny and fragile.
Everyone say HI PEANUT!
The doctor almost gave the husband a heart attack when she thought I might be carrying double troubles twins.
But alas it’s just one baby for now :) And we’re hoping it’s going to be a girl!
Peanut so far has been an absolute doll. I guess maybe somehow she suspects that I’ve not been so welcoming at this that she’s going all out to make sure I don’t even throw up. At 2 months, I’ve yet to even encounter any sort of morning sickness. Not many women are this lucky so I’m glad peanut knows not to make her mama sick ;) I do however get the nausea feeling if I don’t eat pronto. Hence I am constantly hungry and don’t have a choice but to have a healthy breakfast and rice for lunch to make sure I don’t go hungry.
I get tired very very very easily too, like I can just get to work in the morning, sit myself in front of the pc and feel tired already!
I am sometimes irritated by the sight of my husband and boy did he get hell for that 1 week after I found out I was knocked up. The sight of him irritated me to no end and even when he pranced around naked (dont ask, someone’s been going to the gym and saw the need to show off), I felt nothing. In any case I may have said one or two things that might have hurt him. It was such an odd period. Very odd.
I blame the hormones
My husband on the other hand is the happiest man alive which has everything to do with him wanting a baby ever since last year! To be honest, I still can’t picture him or us being parents at all. But whatever it is, this baby is going to be one lucky brat.
As said by BabySis the week I was sulking: “The baby is gonna have a good life ok so stop sulking and feel blessed”. So much truth in it me thinks.
The only concern right now is our OZ move. So many questions on whether if we want the baby to be born here and if we did move who would help take care of the baby etc – something we’re in a proces of carefully deliberating.
Who would have thought this year would see me being a Mommy? HAH.
Incase you’re wondering how this all happened, well I’ll save that for another post
P.s: I”ll be away for the entire week starting tomorrow night. This might be too early but please accept this as a personal greetings from me and Peanut -Wishing you all a Happy Chinese New Year. I swear the Year of the Tiger has more pregnant women than ever!! ROAR!