We turned 6 on September 7th *throws confetti* and have officially been together for 8.5 years now. My husband’s longest relationship yet *grins*
He left a sweet message on my FB page about how it only feels like it was yesterday that we met in Mid Valley. And he’s right coz it almost feels like 8.5 years have zoomed by in lighting speed. Plus we were actually in MV the day before of our anniversary hence that feeling I”m sure, heh.
See, life does zoom by fast when you’re with that right person.
We didn’t get up to anything fancy this year. Plus we acknowledged that it was also the husband’s uncle’s first year anniversary. Bless him, hope everything’s peachy up there.
We did manage to go for a good Spanish lunch @ La Cocina in USJ. I know right, LUNCH…how absolutely frigging romantic. And with our toddler in tow. And if that’s not enough, we actually got the voucher off Living Social! And to make things even more romantic, there was a massive traffic just to get there. Try one hour. On a weekend! *waves hands frantically*
Mother of all Murphy!!
But despite all that…
Baby was one happy baby…
And so was the happy husband….which does makes a happy life really. It’s no rocket science this one
Our yummy tapas – good food always makes celebrating anniversaries more enjoyable
Chicken & Mushroom paella, mmmm
Hah. And this is where I’d like to tell you that yes, things DOES change after a while when you’re married for this long though I understand 6 years of marriage isn’t really that long (coz you can tell me to wait for the 7th year where the itch is suppose to take place *scratch scratch* and this is nothing compared to oh let’s say 20 years but by then I’ll be old and probably not blogging already so I better give you my 2 cent worth first). But given how rampant divorces are in this age, I’d like to think it’s something that we’re still together after 8.5 years coz it’s definitely been a roller-coaster journey of sorts.
I may not be in the position to give advice on how to stay married coz we’ve had our fair share of ups and downs and how you should do it but one thing I’d like to say is as a married couple we have to learn to embrace change.
Change as they say it almost inevitable (but of course I aint using the same context in terms of my work heh).
I think the one thing that people esp ladies feel most frustrated about their marriage is after a while everything fizzles out. Suddenly your love life can no longer rival a romance movie. He no longer whispers sweet nothings to your ears (infact if you do hear sweet whispers all of a sudden, then the bugger must have done something remotely stupid), he no longer kisses you randomly or says his I Love Yous (but somehow has no qualms professing his love to his kid or to whatever stupid hobbies/gadgets he’s into), he no longer surprises you with gifts (and in my case, I have to shamelessly ask for a gift), like this:
Got myself this perfume a day before our anniversary then I told him to re-reimburse me since this shall be my anniversary gift (see thick skin like badak sumbu but it has to be done else I get nothing from him, lol)
You can get it here at a very good price. This perfume is AWESOME!
Point is, you don’t expect things to be the same as it was the year you got married. A lot of people assume that when things aren’t the same as the first two years of marriage and during their dating phase, then something has gotten seriously wrong with it. When really, there’s just nothing and he’s just gotten comfortable with you and have passed by the mandatory lovey dovey bull crap that you sometimes have the disadvantage to see in younger and newer couples which sometimes does spark off that one crazy plug or perhaps an ounce of jealousy. But seriously excessive PDA makes me barf sometimes and you often ask yourself if you were ever like that.
Of course you can choose to disagree and say nope, a man should always hold your hands, always tell you how much he loves you, grovels at your feet, compliments you, gives you kisses and make you feel like the most luckiest girl on this earth and give a shitty list of other things he has to COMPLY with just so YOU can feel loved.
Somewhere along the lines, no doubt both parties get comfortable. He farts openly, you walk around looking worst than a zombie. But you know what, you’re still attracted to each other no doubt. That’s real love right there folks. After years on, suddenly the I Love Yous become a far far away land story coz like hey, I am still married to you aren’t I? Which means I must still love you. The kisses and hugs suddenly are given to your child and all of a sudden you’re more inclined to kiss your kid more than the husband (and vice versa) coz your priority CHANGES, you have the testament of your love right there walking in front of you, reminding yourself how did you two manage to spur out this cutie pie (or monster depends on the kid’s behavior) who means the world to you. A romantic night out is almost non-existence because you know you rather have your kid around. And if you do get quiet time, instead of a candle-lit dinner in a restaurant filled with other sick puppy love-struck couples, you rather run off to watch a movie, or get a massage, catch up with the world or anything else that you can never do with a toddler around and worst case, you end up talking only about your child!!
Not saying you should completely ditch all the lovey dovey stuff but just don’t expect it to be everyday! As for us, we used to say our I Love Yous before bed time, but now, he works till late and I”m off early with Sairah so naturally I say my I Love yous to her first and by the time the husband gets to bed, he sees two logs lying flat out! But we do still hold hands time to time when we sleep (that’s right) and I do believe some sort of physical contact is necessary at night.
But yes, after some years, priorities shifts. And it certainly does a whole lot more after a child comes along. Romance? I”m sorry, what’s that? Could you please spell that word out for us s.l.o.w.l.y please?
In all honestly though, regardles if you have a child or not, is it more important that he HAS to whispers I LOVE YOU everyday or would you rather see him do it in actions? In the little things like help you cook, help you with the laundry, listen to you rant about a job you SO hate, gives you a massage after you yell at him to do so, heh, help you take care of your child while telling you to go get your mani-pedi done? Shit man, I’d rather have the latter instead of that one stupid line and have to put up with everything else by myself. Cliche as it might sound, it’s the little things. It really is the little things coz actions speaks louder than words. A real cliche but oh so true. And I bet you’re annoyed at how much cliche I can use in such a short sentence…oh the cliche
But one thing I can tell you is, sometimes, the people you see who display excessive PDAs and I Love Yous end up NOT being together after a while. Go figure eh. One of life’s little screwed up ironies. Which also goes to show you life isn’t what it always appears to be.
If you ask me, sometimes some couples have it so wrong, that there is a happily ever after and that things will remain magical and enchanting for a long time. Truth is the sooner you recognize its OKAY not to say I love yous every day, it’s okay if your husband doesn’t get all lovey dovey with you like he used to be, it’s okay that you guys aren’t having romantic dinners every other weekend anymore in some new posh joint set up, it’s okay that your husband doesn’t surprise you anymore (though if i were you i’d just ask la), the sooner you’ll realize that this is how marriage usually is. So no, there are no firework displays everyday, there is no champagne bottle popping everyday, no caviar served by your personalized butler….you just trudge along in this thing called life aiming to take one step/phase each time in making it a better one. Well of course there are some exceptions to it to make it more interesting/romantic like during birthdays, anniversaries, planning a holiday and so on. How you choose to make life more interesting is entirely up to you. Anyway, don’t mind my 0.01 cents. I don’t even know if I’m making any sense
Moving on, in trying to keep things somewhat romantic, we decided to cook dinner together. But then again, what’s new, we do this every weekend anyway.
Chop chop away my lil minion
Of course, had extra help from my 3 year old in the baking department. She insisted she be part of it. Go figure.
First time baking in those tin foils thingimagicy.
All done! And believe it or not, we cooked and baked simultaneously coz we got caught in traffic heading back home (again what’s new) so I had to wrap it all up in one hour!
Dinner was something easy peasy thank god. I actually got a prepared bottle of sauce (they’re life savers), sauteed some onions, garlic, bell peppers and seasoned chicken, threw in the prepared sauce. Then put the sauce with mild cheddar into the oven and wala:
Had it with some spinach fettuccine.
Indeed it was good! Every household needs a bottle of dem bottled tomato sauce I tell you!
Trying to add some ‘romance’ by popping a wine bottle. Except this was a bottle that was left behind by my BIL…it’s not like as though we deliberately went out to get this so hah.
So that was how we celebrated our sixth anniversary. Almost like any other day really but nevertheless, a good day to realize and acknowledge that we’ve been with the same person for this long, woots *throws confetti*
And with that, I shall end with a very cute quote I came across lately:
Love is like fart, if you force it, it’s probably shit
I no longer look for romantic quotes but shit funny ones now