Last week on Facebook, someone tagged a bloody awful school picture of me which was taken bloody 11 years ago. In lightning speed, I quickly removed the tag.
Because it reminds me of
1)How ugly and fat I was
2)How bad my skin was (although not much has changed since then)
3)How hideous and short my hair was
4)How I looked so different,like a boy
5)How some people used to remind me how unattractive I was
In a nut shell, how much I hated my hideous self then. Not even my husband knows how I looked like back in school. And he shall never find that out till the day I die!
Thinking back, I enjoyed secondary school at 13-15, because girls this young (back then of course) didn’t really care how you look like nor did they give attention to the nitty gritty. So yes I easily sailed through it. Plus it helped that yours truly was the assistant class captain which made her somewhat popular
Now Form 4-5 was a blur but I remember the girls being very much separated into cliques. Had at least 4 cliques or so in our class and then there were the occasional loners (not me ok!).
My clique was a small one, – not the popular ones I assure you. Infact someone thought it was okay to label us the gangsters of the class, no idea why. It’s kind of an irony when I think about it especially when I was the Class captain. And a damn nice one at that. Ah well.
Anyway looking back as a 17 year old, I honestly thought the popular cliques were going to be ‘all that’ in later life considering how these girls had everything going for them.
Me? Not only did I have certain issues (see points 1-5 again), the only boy (who I had a huge crush on), who asked me out was only interested in exchanging tips for SPM. I felt so stupid to even think he was remotely interested in me. Stupid Stupid.
Now that I have most of my classmates on FB, it’s funny how 11 years have changed us so much.
The ones that were popular with the boys are now, single or with complicated love lives. The ones that you didn’t think would embrace marriage and motherhood are well, married with cute kids. The ones that everyone assumed would have high flying careers are just another white collar worker. The ones that were quiet are seeing the world and living life. The ones that were bitchy are well, still bitches, lol. That’s something you really can’t change I suppose.
Life oh life, you just never know where it brings you to or set forth upon you.
As for me, from someone who had a lot of issues with one’s self and may not have the best of past, I think I’ve evolved pretty alright.
I may not be the most successful, the richest or the most perfect, but I’m happy.
I’m not sure what others thought I’d become of but fast forward 11 long excruciating years;
Not only have I evolved physically, emotionally and mentally, I’m married to a obedient handsome husband (who knew!) with a BIG BIG and I mean BIG heart , I have a steady job/career, I get to enjoy the occasional travelling and I’m surrounded by people who love me for who I am – even when the makeup comes off, heh.
As an ugly 17 year old, don’t think I would have ever saw this one coming.
So maybe, just maybe, I should start embracing that picture.
Life oh life, you gots to embrace it and have a little faith in it folks.